The Unbloggable

Okay, it was my bad. Turns out my friend had loaded that damn profile application - which caused all the extra ads so I'm sorry Facebook. Facebook always looks different whenever I log onto it via computer so I attributed to that without thinking. However, having said that - I've been forcibly added to two more groups, had multiple service issues and Facebook never seems to want to notify me about anything anymore. This leaves me to stalk my own page like a lone, festering zombie.

Today is the anniversary of the Queen Vee's Ascension. I still remember that day vividly. My final year of high school, trying to cram in a few more minutes of sleep. I heard my mum approaching and fully aware of her tendency to rip the covers off me in a futile attempt to get me out of my bedroom, I leapt out of bed the minute she opened the door.

No, I'm not really sure how that made things better. Probably something to do with meeting a winter's morning on my own terms. Defiant, and shivering. Anyway, my mum didn't yell at me to hurry up or tell me what was left for breakfast, she just sort of laughed at me. That was a warning sign enough, let alone the shakiness of the laugh.

Then she told me my grandmother passed away in the night. I guess the blow was softened a little by the fact that she lived so far away and I rarely got to see her. Maybe softened isn't the right word, but what I'm trying to say is that it was very easy to go numb from that. It's very easy to forget that it actually happened because it's not in your face all the time.

All I could think of was the stupid things I'd done as a kid, that maybe I hadn't exactly been the nicest person to be around. I kinda feel worse about it because as much as she was a tough cookie that wouldn't take no crap, she was also the kindest and most forgiving, understanding person and I'll probably never meet anyone up to those standards again in my life.

It hurts that I won't really understand her though. She went through so much - poverty, the early loss of her husband and raising a pack of children by herself, war and so much more, and yet you would never hear her complain. She had a life to get on with and she just did.

And I miss her dearly.