Well, I seem to have misplaced myself. Where have I been? Yeah, small vacation to sort myself out, a buttload of assignments to successfully complete and then an actual vacation. By the way, I'm totally back.
More on those topics later - for now... Mortal Kombat 9!
Totally banned in Australia, but not from sale because I've heard tales of the many who have parted with their pennies to own it. So, I've seen some game play, not much but I thought I'd share my opinions on it. I haven't played a Mortal Kombat game properly because of my unreasonable trust of 3D game play and strange preference for Super Nintendo games.
I grew up with these games, and feasted on the bloodshed, storyline and interesting characters. So when my brother told me that he'd heard that this game had some strong ties to the older games, with some Back to the Future shizzle going on I was very interested.
However.. as awesome as the skull cam is.. man is it annoying to watch the same footage of internal damages, the screaming, and then the victim getting back on their feet after two seconds of hemorrhaging declaring that they're fine. What?! All that damage for nothing?! Stay down and shut up, damn it!
The women's clothing - no surprises here. They suck. I'm not just saying that because I'm sick of looking at gravity defying fake boobies.. but because it honestly grates on my nerves. Let's have a look at Sonya Blade. Once a great soldier, now she's wearing a painted on suit, including an army vest and dog tags.. with no bra. With no bra. No bra? What? Obviously there are no women working on the design team and/or it's entirely filled will blokes who like to wear burlap sacks around their privates and think everyone else should join them in a world of pain, scratching and disgusting habits.
But it’s not just that.. it’s that these women are given less and less clothing with each new game, while the men get more layers and more weapons. I mean sure, no one really wants to see Shao Kahn in a loin cloth but it did add a touch of realism. I look at these outfits and I want to SCREAM! Unless you’re made of Superman/Supergirl, you should really cover your soft underbelly unless like Mileena, you find being covered in your own blood and entrails damn hot.
Part of me would like to suggest that going out into the arena like this is saying to your opponent – ‘Hey, nice blades, but I don’t fear you enough to wear armour.’ The smarter part of me knows that no one thought about the women this way, and they’re only almost naked because it sells. This makes me sad and violent. Is it too much to ask for a few realistic characters?
Zombie Liu Kang, sure. Multi-limbed beings of terror, yes please. Trees that talk back, why not? Time travel – of course. All of this is believable.. I’m not asking for three dimensional characters and things that make sense. I’m asking for at least one fucking woman character that looks battle appropriate. If you wouldn’t wear that into a combat area, or zombie invasion or on a date with a being that eats souls.. DON’T MAKE ANYONE ELSE WEAR IT.
Now Kitana.. what’s with her hair? Why is it doing a Sindel? Sure, she’s her daughter but still.. so annoying. Didn’t Jade used to have some sort of ethnicity?
It kinda bothers me that the Klassic Kostumes for Kitana and Jade are being called horrible granny swimsuits.. I have images of the future offspring of these commentators running around in g-strings and pasties at the beach, because anything that vaguely covers the buttocks is apparently so incredibly old fashioned that only surfing grandmas would wear them.
If I had to describe granny swimsuits, I’d probably refer to the modest 1920’s bathing suits as I haven’t really seen many geriatrics at the beach lately. Although having said that, with many women having children younger, grannies aren’t as old as they stereotypically are anymore.
Mortal Kombat’s newest release has not performed an amazing fatality over my Super Nintendo games but it has killed a part of my love for it. I’m just not as interested as I used to be, even though I like the new features, and the beautiful graphics and all that. Although the battle realistic damage to the clothes seems to have a glitch in that it only seems to affect the women’s outfits around the privates. I’m sure they’ll get right on to fixing that very soon.
I’m a girl who loves sex, adores fighting and encourages blood thirsty battles, but it hurts the few feelings I have to know that the makers of MK don’t consider me their target audience at all and continue to pander to fanboys. It’s not doing them any favours either, fanboys and girls hardly get respect as it is.
It would be nice to have a game that didn’t make me feel like I’ve just wandered into the dirty video section of the rental store. It would be nice to have a fighting game where it’s about fighting, not just supermodels and thugs. Don’t we have enough sex and violence going on? Aren’t there enough sexed up parodies of females in military/combat roles?
Final word: You’re all soft for having the walk throughs teaching you how to do fatalities lol
