I Thought it Was Supposed to be 'Clucky', Not 'Woofy?'

So, the other day I'm on FaceBook and I notice that several peoples and friends have written on my buddy Jambo's plank. Um, wall. (I use Pirate language. There is no other way to live.)
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY SHOULD I CARE?!?!

I still don't know the answer to any of those questions, but what made me curious was that most of them were writing things like 'Congratulations!' or 'I'm so happy for you!'
Which made me wonder if said fairly new weds were perhaps knocked up?

I do try not to think about them doing it, I really try. If indeed there was a bouncing baby blight on the way though, I figured I should write something too. People seem to expect that. (Congratulations! You found out the secret to procreation! Humankind owes it's existence to *you!*)

Then I found out they'd just got a new dog. A new dog? A new DOG?! Great, pets are awesome.. although I'm a little confused as to why I've NEVER EVER in my life seen anyone else in the world being applauded for going into a pet store and making a transaction. I mean, all this furor, you'd think they'd just paid off a nice new house or saved the world but no.. there's a lot of back patting for buying another dog.

I'm just.. really... really confused by this. But wait.. it gets creepier. On all of the photos they've uploaded, there are several comments regarding some mysterious sub species named 'Fur Babies'.

Perhaps related to the deadly Bug Baby?

'Is your other dog going to be a good big brother?' 'What a proud daddy!' 'Our dogs are in the terrible twos.. let's have a play date!' Several hints that 'pets are nice, now give me a freaking grandchild!'

For a moment, I'm going to put aside my initial reaction and delve deeper. I really hate people getting up young newlyweds and telling them to have babies. If two people get married, they are saying to each other 'Golly gee, you're kinda swell. Let's you and me spend the rest of our lives together.' Or something like that. I've really only been to one wedding and the food made me ill so I found it hard to pay attention.

That's it though.. their whole LIVES. Yes, there's a certain age when it gets harder to make babies and you don't want to be sixty years older than your offspring but yikes. Can't you leave it to them? The worst part is that these people don't seem to realise how damn creepy they all are.

'You got a dog! You must be in heat! Give us babies! Millions and millions of babies!!'

BABIES EVERYWHERE!!

I'm not particularly fond of this particular fur baby baby mama..( Aw hell. Did I really just write that?) but even I think that it's her body, she can do what she likes with her reproductivity. If babies need to wait until she's done with her career, then so be it. Go lick a furball, you jerk ass friends/relatives.