Lucky Tiger vs Suicide Squad 12

To be honest, I’m not really sure why I’m bothering to review this one. The stories are going seriously downhill and I’m not sure why these writers think I should care who the mole on the team is exactly. So I’ve missed a few issues in this series, and I’m not going to go back for them. Deal with it.

                                                    THE TRAITOR UNMASKED –
                                               YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHO IT IS!

Yes, well, we’ll see. Imitation Waller looks surprised, but that’s probably because a) her cleavage isn’t showing and b) she’s just seen how much screen time she’s getting this issue.

If you bothered to read the last issue you would know that the Suicide Squad landed in a poorly written episode of Scooby Doo and now cannibals are going to eat them for some reason.

Honestly, they wouldn’t be my first choice. I’m sure pickings are slim in ancient-Mexico comic world but I would like to credit these guys some brains. Would you eat a shark man, a pasty wannabe clown, a dude who likens himself to a spider (eww) or the other guy who’s like, on fire half of the time? Then again, shark is a delicacy and they can save on the costs because the other guy’s a BBQ, mate!

A wild bitchy Deadshot appears!

Black Spider uses ‘logic’ and ‘Shut the hell up, Deadshot!’. 

It’s not very effective!

Ermhagawd, despite being upside down we can totally see on top of this stone pillar while we have a thrilling debate on whether or not King Shark has le secret powers.

I had a secret power once. Telepathy. Oh, sure, some sceptics say I just stapled a note to my forehead but when people looked at me – they knew that it wasn’t safe to go back in the water.
I became a hero! Well, I would have been.. except I don’t live near the beach so the folks in range of my powers didn’t need rescuing. But, like all psychic powers – it’s the thought that counts. Ha!

Pew! Pew! Like, Waller to the rescue! No, wait! It’s Basilisk! No, wait! It’s the man with the scarf that has a life of it’s own – Captain Boomerang!

'Hey Floyd, I'm here to sweep you off your feet..'

Wait.. why DOES Captain Boomerang have a scarf? Or a beanie for that matter? Oh yeah, he probably honed his skills on our many, many snow capped peaks. While using white boomerangs. And out-dated ‘Aussie’ catchphrases.

Assholes. 

 Anyway, back to our story (ha) the ugly characters are chucked in an electrified paddy wagon (gotta get me one of those) while Harley (who is not her usual pretty self but still the prettiest thing we’ve got to work with, apart from the scarf) rides up front with Boomie on his quad bike. Turns out he’s not really with Basilisk. Which is a relief, because, you know, I was so, so worried.

Actually, I forgot where they left him but it’s the same thing, really. Deep down. 

The twist I liked here is Deadshot being dragged around by said quad bike. He’s not as bloody as one would like, though. Harley kept looking around during the ride and I’m like, knock that shit off! Trying to give us hints about the torture, who do you think you are?! That and the soppy eyes. Yuck. You once had the Clown Prince of Crime and now you’re worried about an imitation Iron Man who isn’t half the man of what Deadshot used to be. You’re a split personality, woman! You should have TWICE the standards!!

 Somehow the other uglies are off the electro-cart before Harley, Boomie and Tin Can Man though. There are super imposed Basilisk people worshipping some ugly dude named Regulus who looks like Loki from Avengers, but with a Ra's al Ghul twang of paedophile face.

Now HE’S making goo goo eyes at Harley.. 

Oh Harley. Your eyes aren’t even black lined anymore, you’ve lost your butt diamonds, hell, you haven’t even got your little shirt.. dagger.. things and.. whoa. 

You have some long ass hands, woman. Also, I don’t want to alarm you but you have a terrifying shoulder blade. Actually, forget that and look at the next panel!

Harley is suddenly anorexic and her feet are incredibly elongated! Look at them! How does that even happen?! Her boobs still look like water balloons longing for freedom though. Why am I not surprised?

Regulus is stomping on Deadshot’s head and then standing perilously close to the edge of the Salada crackers concentration camp. Of course, Captain Cold and King Shark focus on the important things like saying ‘WHAT?!’ to everything, I however can’t help but notice the squiggles in Regulus’s shoes though.
Things that make you go hmmMMMmmmm.

The guests are escorted off the premises.. all chained apart from Harley – but she’s got problems of her own because her cape seems to be growing to epic proportions. Oh no, she’s chained and it’s shrunk now. All good. More pain for Deadshot, and some weird dialogue about smelling like a sheila?

Excuuse me? Is that a vagina joke? A vagina joke wrapped in terrible Aussie-ness? Or do Boomerang and Deadshot have a thing against the womens? I think they do! Boomerang even tells the Tin Man to buy him a bottle of the cheap stuff later! Cheap stuff? I assume he means deodorant but now it could be anything! Liquor, lube, cologne for their first man-date.... Gah!
That’s a match in shipping hell! Excuse me while I go gouge out my eyes.

Only Deadshot is surprised when Boomerang busts him out to open fire with those weapons Basilisk didn’t bother to take from any of them, cannibals must have left them in for flavour. Pity it doesn’t work for the comic.

A wild Deadshot appears!

Boomerang uses ‘Shut the hell up and get over it!’

It’s not very effective.

 

Harley vanished during the fight scene. Even the other uglies are helpful enough to stand in a corner so that Black Spider can blow them release their bonds. 

There she is – running down the hall like a lunatic with bad athletics. You go, girl! Keep this up and they’ll forget you even had a history in obligatory female criminal gymnastics! 

Erhmagawd, Black Spider is totally the traitor! Are we sure this time? Who cares? Let’s get this stupid arc over with already!

A wild plot convenience appears!
Black Spider uses ‘fast acting sleeper cell thingy!’
It’s highly effective!

'Sorry to pop in unannounced..'

 Harley turns around for no reason, fades into the background literally and then has an over dramatic reaction to whatever the funk Deadshot is doing now. Now they’re back to back and against the world. *Inspirational action movie music* Man, I wish my legs were the EXACT SAME SIZE FROM THIGH TO ANKLE. What the fuzz is going on with Harley? *Flippant remark about the Joker face incident* *Canned laughter* *Cut scene*

Thoughts – Boomerang seems to be the only person with care put into his face. I like his expressions and eyes. Captain Cold seems a little.. less like the Captain Cold I’ve read before. Didn’t he use to have a backbone and enjoy killing everyone, damn the rules? El Diablo only speaks when it’s about redemption or reminding us that he’s not of this language. 

Oh, here’s Amanda Waller. 

She’s gone to visit her grandma. What big guns you have..

Why is there a tree in front of the garage? Why is the car not parked on the driveway? Why is grandma’s house surrounded by a force field?

Wait, is that the REAL Amanda Waller in the chair! Holy Heck! Also I don’t remember what the whole side story with the Waller actually having a life is, but man, if a covert ops person can’t look directly ahead of them when trying to find someone.. well it’s no wonder this comic is the way it is.