Sing Along Stupidity

Alright, so lyric writing is a tough business. Maybe not in today's world of samples, autotune, chipmunk syndrome, the way rappers seem to think that they can sing, or rap, or write, or spell.... or... do anything well..

Moving on. Some lyrics don't have to make sense and the song can still be awesome. Others, you listen to and it ruins the whole thing because you're sitting there with your head to the side going.. what the heck? Then some you listen to and just get angry....


GWEN STEFANI - 'HARAJUKU GIRLS'

Avoiding the more obvious 'Hollaback Girl' scene is a song that I kinda like, but kinda don't. I love Japan and it's culture, this is just a cute song about it all with some irritating flaws. It's a little sickening to have a giddy Japanese girl you paid to be in your entourage squeal 'Gwen Stefani, you like ME?' (grovel, grovel)
She then goes on about how she hasn't seen anything like it in America, further on she asks if they saw their inspiration in her latest American shameless plug (I mean, clothing line) but then she sorta says that they'll love to get their hands on it. So.. what? They HAVEN'T seen it then? Don't you time travel with me, missy! The pseudo-Japanese accent is one thing BUT the most irritating part?

'Super lovers, tell me where you got yours
(at the super lovers store)'

No Way! That's the last place I would go for a Super Lover's shirt. Amiright?

 

AFROJACK FEAT EVA SIMONS - 'TAKE OVER CONTROL'

This song is awesome and it's getting constant airplay. Such a shame it opens with this line.

'Let's go take a ride in your car
I will take the passenger seat'

It just bugs me.  She loves the way he takes over her, while she's taking over the car. It's alright, honey! Let's go take a ride in your car... I will let you waste all your petrol...because I forced you to take me on a drive to nowhere.. unless you feel pressured to take me somewhere epic.. Ugh.
Maybe it's just the way she spells it out.. It's your car, so I'll sit here, on the passenger side so no listeners get any funny ideas about who gets forced to drive. 

LADY GAGA - 'BAD ROMANCE'


'I want your leather studded kiss in the sand'
I just don't get that bit. 

KATY PERRY - (ANYTHING SHE CHURNS OUT)

Katy Perry is a stupid invention. She busts out on the scene with her fake-lesbian I just broke out of a religious household bad girl 'hit', and just didn't go away. She sued someone for having a clothes label with her name... only, it's the designers REAL name and Katy is just a stage name for our little whinger. I just can't stand her. Always around with her 50's pin up crap and coloured wigs and making headline for no apparent reason. Also, she can't sing. At all. In 'I kissed a girl' her voice is so strong and confident.. and then in songs like 'E.T', 'Hot n Cold' and 'Teenage Dream' she does this weird falsetto sort of whisper thing like she knows she's trying to sing beyond her own pitch/skill level. It's just like when you hear someone singing to Mariah Carey. They, and everyone else in the world -  will never reach the sounds of her vocal freakiness, but God help them they are going to try. 
So basically all of her songs annoy me but here are the main rage inducing lines I've found. 

HOT N COLD

'You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes'

Hey Wonder-tart, don't lump us all together in the one stereotype or anything. Not all of us have a wardrobe crew. 


E.T

'Take me, t-t-take me
Wanna be a victim
Ready for abduction'

There is nothing creepier than hearing your fan base of tweenage girls sing this. NOTHING. It gives SATAN the heebie jeebies!! Also, where did that stutter come from?

I KISSED A GIRL

'It's not what good girls do, not how they should behave.'

Fascinating the way I think she means 'good girls don't cheat on their boyfriends for no reason with a girl they don't know' but it comes out like 'good girls don't kiss other girls, i'm so naughty!'
All lesbians are now in Miss Manner's firing line. 

WAKING UP IN VEGAS

'We need a taxi 'cause you're hung-over and I'm broke
I lost my fake ID but you lost the motel key'

Alright. One bad example of English, and one bad example to young fans. 'Nuff said. 

CALIFORNIA GURLS

'Katy my lady (yeah)
Lookie here baby (uh huh)
I'm all up on ya
Cuz you're representin' California (ohhh yeahh)'

This makes the list even though it's Snoop singing it. C'mon Snoop, that rap was the most painful thing I've sat through and I've had all of my wisdom teeth extracted! You can't even call it a rap because it's more of a wrap - up of what Katy's already 'sung'. She drives a jeep. She's in California. Great. Um, why are you in the song again? A fine thing, using Katy Perry to 'represent' all of California. She doesn't look like the girls she's describing, and telling us that Califon-i-ay is the best place in the world, boys are perverts and everyone there likes to have sex on the beach is just more stereotyping. 
Sex on the beach is nasty... basic health guys.. and the Beach Boys reference? Pathetic. You, my dear, have overdosed on your own boobie-cupcakes. 

KE$HA - 'BLOW'

'Go insane, go insane
Throw some glitter, make it rain on 'em'

You're right, it does blow. Ke$ha doesn't exactly make for wonderful songs. I chose this lyric because I know I would go insane if someone 'rained' glitter on me. Glitter sucks, it gets everywhere, then comes back in the morning in places you didn't even get any glitter near. Curse you, unreasonable glitter!! I just don't get Ke$ha, or her obsession with glitter and ugly guys like Mick Jagger. I can only listen to 'Tik Tok' in the form of 'Boink Bonk'. I suggest you try it. 


DESTINY'S CHILD - 'NASTY GIRL'

'Nasty put some clothes on, I told ya
Don't walk out your house without no clothes on, I told ya'

I can only vaguely remember what this song sounds like but I'll always remember it because it was big when I was in highschool and still watched RAGE every now and then, and I happened to see the film clip. The best bit about the Mean Girls film was when they said something like  'don't bring other girls down, it just gives the boys an excuse to do it too.' So, here we have three girls ganging up on one girl and calling her a skank, whore, nasty, AIDS ridden louse. Then they show everyone else in the street laughing at her. Which riles me because they're all 'Independant Women/Pround of Jelly/Girl Power Whoo' and then they have this pop anthem which doesn't even try to get into why this girl acts so 'nasty'. Maybe she was abused as a kid, maybe she wants affection but goes about it the wrong way, maybe all the other girls are just freakin' bitches so she prefers the company of men! Sounds likely. It just bothers me that all the things she's done that are so bad.. Destiny's Child does too. Only, they're famous, so it must be okay. BARF.
All those derogatory body shots of the whore while the trio only have glamourous headshots, then they transform those nasty skanks into normal people just like them, and everyone heads over to the LAMEST. DISCO. I HAVE EVER SEEN. I mean, really.. that is some... pathetic... whatever that is. Especially the one hopping around in a circle like a stupid rave bunny. 


THE BLACK EYED PEAS - 'I GOTTA FEELING'

'I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good night
That tonight's gonna be a good, good night'

Aaaaaan that's about it... I gotta feeling you just ruined MY potentially good night because I just realised that you keep making money of being repetitive and drunk, BEP! Your songs don't even have lyrics anymore, they just repeat themselves until your ears bleed and you can't hear them anymore. (But you know they're there, waiting, and repeating..) What happened, guys?  


ENRIGUE - 'I LIKE IT'


Oh, a catchy new party track. Great, what does he like?

'My girlfriend is out of town
And I'm all alone
Your boyfriend is on vacation
And he doesn't have to know'

....oh. He likes being a cheating douchebag. Aww, you're all alone, poor diddums. I guess the obvious answer would be to go out of town with the girlfriend next time, wait for her to get back, or dump her and be with the other cheating douchebag you seem to prefer. Thanks for spreading all the STD's around, that's reeeeaaal likeable that is. 

Well, that should probably do it for now, I'm all worked up and it's ten to one. Stuff goes pretty fast when you hate on it. Except work and study. It just makes things worse..