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Friday, 30 December 2011

Songs that make you go hmmmm....

There are some songs out in the Top 40 right now that.. well, I don't know if I like them or hate them. Some, I know I love and others I want to like but little quirks make me think twice. Then I remember that they're just songs, so who the heck cares right? Well, me and several others. But sharing is totally caring, and if they get on my nerves.. well, I hope they get on yours too.


HANGOVER - Taio Cruz (Feat Some Jerkoff)

I do like this one. Never had a hangover, so while others may groan, clutch their heads and writhe feebly on the ground.. I'm probably singing along. It really is a damn catchy one. My only problem is the little bits in between. Let's have a look at the lyrics.

so I can go until I blow up, eh
and I can drink until I throw up, eh
and I don’t ever ever want to grow up, eh
I want to keep it going, keep keep it going


Eh? Eh?! Eh.
What's with the ehs? If you stretch your imagination a little bit you could make them into 'heys' which are slightly more understandable. Those little 'ehs' don't seem like much but they remind me of another song..



SCREAM - Timbaland (Feat the amazing 'singer' Nicole Schwerpsjkbgeg and Keri Hilson)

Intoxicated with desire
And you're the designated driver, yeah
I'm not afraid 'cause I'm a rider, yeah


I'm not sure who actually sings this part, so I'll just blame both. It starts off really strong, but then she doesn't seem to know how to finish it so everything becomes 'yeah' at the end. It's just lazy. Maybe they realised that driver and rider don't exactly rhyme.. but 'yeah' and 'yeah' do. (Timbaland, you cunning bastard!)
Maybe they were just freaked out by Timbaland threatening to eat all of the cookies and the first bit of pie. Or maybe how the song goes for like half an hour at the end while he just talks to himself about f"£&! knows what.


FEEL SO CLOSE - Calvin Harris

I feel so close to you right now
It's a force field.
I wear my heart upon my sleeve,
like a big deal.


This is another great song, but the nerd in me says 'Gee whiz, Calvin Harris, are you sure it's not a tractor beam you're stuck in?'
I mean, yeah, maybe he is actually stuck in a force field and cannot escape this love but really, force fields are  more for keeping things out.

Wikipedia definition: A force field, sometimes known as an energy shield, force shield, or deflector shield is a concept of a field tightly bounded and of significant magnitude so that objects affected by the particular force relating to the field are unable to pass through the central axis of the field and reach the other side. Commonly depicted as an impenetrable wall of energy.

So,  it wouldn't be a very good relationship if he couldn't get near her, or advance in the relationship at all, would it? No. No it wouldn't. I mentioned this thought to a co-worker of mine who loves the song and I brought about a crushing depression of literalness.


GRENADE - Bruno Mars

Not the most recent, but I've been hearing it a hell of a lot. I've never liked it. Everyone else seems to just loooove this dude, but all of his songs stink. What is it about 'Marry You' that women find romantic? He plainly says he's got nothing better to do. 'The Lazy Song' is too lazy to even have a title, and contains many horrible things like snuggies, hands in pants, general pantslessness and being too lazy to comb hair that doesn't even need combing. 'Just the Way You Are' isn't too bad.. but damn his soppiness and so-so voice. Now, Grenade. Can I borrow one?

To me this song is about emotional blackmail and over the top drama than what it sounds like it should be - a bad break up song.

To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'cause what you don't understand is
I'd catch a grenade for ya,
throw my hand on a blade for ya,
I'd jump in front of a train for ya,
you know I'd do anything for ya!
I would go through all this pain..
Take a bullet straight through my brain...
Yes, I would die for you, baby.
But you won't do the same.


We hear that a lot, the whole 'I'll do anything for you, darling!' but that should be a gesture of your love, you shouldn't outright expect the other half to do the same. After all, jumping in front of a train is no small feat to ask of someone. In fact, it's a few feet, down the track and then some. (Ba-doom-tish!)

Relationships should never be one sided, obviously if you're the only one giving then you should leave and find someone better. It's like Christmas - you give your loved ones gifts because you want to, or you feel you have to. If you're giving gifts only to receive something in return, then you don't deserve anything.

Saying I'm ready to die for you, but you're obviously a cold hearted cow because you won't give up your life so easily, boo hoo hoo... is all kinds of Twilight messed up. He wants pain? Let him have it. His loved one would/should never ask/expect him to do those messed up things, and especially not as a token of his love.
'I'd kill myself to achieve nothing in particular, so you owe me all of your love!!'

Geez, what's wrong with roses and chocolates? They still exist, right?

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