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Thursday 16 June 2011

I Vant To Suck Your Cocktails!

Well, I really enjoyed my last weekend and surrounds. Friday I went to a 21st at Dracula's... I don't think I'm a huge fan of Dracula's anymore. The first time I went was for my 18th and by the time they got the meals out to us it was time for our scheduled photo. When we got back, five minutes later our untouched meals were gone. We finally got our replacement meals after everyone had finished their dessert, but the company made it interesting and the show I remember as funny. 


I was particularly interested in the 2009 show 'Vampirates' - I do quite like pirates but for the life of me I can't remember anything about that night apart from my parents going 'what the hell is this?' Frankly, it just didn't seem like Redrum Cabaret was the show it was trying to show.

There was just too much emphasis on gay/lesbian jokes and drug humour. The singing was really good but because it was an anniversary type show they just kept going on about the name dropping and how awesome their crew is. That's great, but after all those expensive cocktails all I'm going to remember is my wallet pain and not your name, sweet cheeks.

We had a great waiter but had to wait ages for our first round of drinks because the tables in front and behind us were well wasted and screaming for more.
Best part: The table in front left early because the bar cut them off, and one of the random drunks donated their $13.00 flashy cups to us. We promptly sanitised them.
Worst part: The table behind us spilt half of their fishbowl 'n' fruit over the birthday girl and the only one that apologised from their group was the one that didn't actually do it.

The in your face sales and staff interaction just got old. The 'make fun of your guests' routine during the show was only slightly updated from the last times I'd been. As we went to get on the ghost train ride the attendant was like 'You don't look happy. Are you mad at your boyfriend?' Which was just the curve ball out of hell's left field. Like where did that come from? I had a bit of a headache and yeah, by this stage I was kind of bored but still, no need for an unwanted romance intervention. In hindsight I probably did look sad/passive, but I was staring at this dude trying to figure out if I'd seen him before. I angled my head a little bit after that and hopefully he got the point via my devil horns.

Just sitting there in our booth, a saleswoman with the most irritating voice in the universe came over and tried to get us to buy the aforementioned flashing glasses so we said no. So she leans in to my partner and says (about me) 'What about her? She looks like she'd like one..'
It's like, we just said NO, lady. No means no! Same thing happened with the next salesperson with the flashing horns. I'm already wearing horns, soooo noooooooooooo. I have so many horns at home, haha I really don't need anymore - especially not expensive ones!

Everything there was just expense, expense and expense. Being a 21st, we paid up for the VIP package but it didn't feel like anything special. It was great to cut the line but then the next group of VIPs behind us tried to cut past. They were already drunk and screeched 'Excuse us, VIPs here!!' because you know how us ordinary people just like to line up in the VIP section. *eye roll* Still, it was funny to shut them up.

We had a champagne on arrival.. too bad none of us drank it. The finger food consisted of ONE cracker for each of us, smeared with some sort of dippy stuff and a disgusting tomato juice shot thing. The gift bag had a lot in it. One 'programme' that had nothing to do with the programme and a pen. Now, the pen is very nice and the booklet interesting but pretty slim pickings for a VIP bag.

I chose the same meal I had last time and I had no complaints but everyone who had the beef said it was chewy and gross. The entree was pretty good, but again I was the only one who liked it. I did find the desert was too rich and I couldn't eat anything apart from the gooey coffin insides, but everyone else liked theirs. The website said the VIP canapes would be actual 'finger' food, so I have to investigate whether that changed overnight, or whether someone forgot us/stole our platter.

There was a lot of stuff I would have liked from the gift store but when you know you can get it more than half off the price on eBay it kind of makes you laugh in the face of your 10% discount offer. I did however, cash in my free coupon for a souvenir glass and I ended up coming home with a jelly shot syringe. That jelly shot was delicious and the peach liquor cocktail I had was superb. The other one was disgusting and not worth the money.

The important thing is that the birthday girl had fun. After all she'd never seen it before and she's so young, innocent and not jaded like us sad bastards. That's probably the last time I'll go though, unless they drastically reduce the prices and start handing me complimentary peachy... liquor.... thingies.

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