Went out and treated my love to dinner and a movie last night, we ended up seeing the Hangover II. I'd been told it was not as good as the first one - they never are - but funny nevertheless.
I just didn't really enjoy it. I haven't seen the first one since it came out in the cinemas, but as soon as I was in there again it just seemed like the old plot in a new setting. No, that's not surprising at all, you know it's basically the same story again when you go in to see it but it was like they were riding on the popularity of the previous movie and didn't bother to put any effort in.
Stu's face gets messed up again and he also gets involved with a stripper again.
Phil gets shot - with a gun not a taser this time.
Alan befriends a monkey instead of a baby, makes another dick joke with it.
Doug - well nothing happens to him this time. Lucky Doug.
Someone else is lost and left alone for days.
The Chinese gangster is back, with another party and another trade off.
There's a new wedding.
There's more drugs.
Instead of 'Black Doug' there's random mute monk.
Someone else does a stupid dare that involves losing a body part.
This is why I didn't label the post with 'spoilers'. It wasn't a terrible movie, but it wasn't awesome and I don't think I'd watch it again. Too many questions, not enough funnies.
Question one: Is the monkey okay?! Holy crap, is the monkey okay?!!? Also.... how the hell did they manage to hit the tiny monkey sandwiched between the huge guys?
Question two: How was Teddy okay in the elevator after two days? Doug was in the sun on a Vegas roof and he was basically in a coma. Teddy was stuck in a stinky elevator after a power out, with a finger missing - so add on blood loss and presumably pain but hey, he was right as rain wasn't he? Walking himself out and speaking coherently.. but we saw how sweaty the guys were in the room with the fan on, how hot would the elevator have been?
On that note, why didn't anyone salvage his finger and ring? Or, uh, get him medical attention?
Question three: How come there was basically no back story on Stu's bride to be? Obviously we don't have time to hear her life story or sit through a 'Meet the Fockers' style tale about how the father in law hates him, but surely a little something to show us how they met and why they're so in love? She seems great, but suffers from 'you're just a girl in a movie about guys getting drunk' syndrome.
Question four: They weren't in Vegas anymore, and I thought for sure that one of their main difficulties would be the language barrier, but it wasn't. Only one person yells at them in another language and the only problem they had with tongues was the monk's inability to break his vow of silence. I'm glad it wasn't full of stereotypical Asian stereotype speech patterns but really? Why didn't they play this up more? Waking up with no memory after hiding a corpse and losing someone - not being able to communicate would be a nightmare.
Questions five: Whatever happened to that baby Phil had? Was no one really able to stop the boat crashing?
I hated Alan in this movie. I remembered him as being funny and misunderstood in the first one. This one.. ooh, he's a rotten little shit. Obviously he has problems but why does everyone encourage him? His parents should not be bowing to the every whim of their professional stay at home son. The way he spoke to his mum and disrespected his dad disgusted me.
I know there would be no movie if Stu had stayed strong and said 'No, the little bastard who drugged us and tried to ruin our lives can most certainly NOT come to my wedding because some bit part co-star's wife's brother is all sad about it.'
I just really wish he had.
These guys were supposed to be great friends but all Phil does is complain about Stu's selfish Thailand marriage. Okay, that's a good point - when friends do this it can be asking a lot. Stu's bride's family is from there though so it's not like he's just gone 'Yeah, we're going to go round the world in 80 days for our marriage.' It's pretty reasonable, if you can't afford it, don't go and make it up to the couple later. Phil doesn't exactly look like he's hurting for money though. Cheap enough to not want to pay for his meds though, and scam off his dentist friend for check ups.
Despite what happened last time, he complains that Stu won't have a bachelor party. Why? As his friends, they should respect his wishes. If he wants a brunch, you damn well give him a brunch. Just because you're going to get married doesn't mean you absolutely have to go out and get trashed. Seriously.
That's just a clever ploy by beer companies and strip clubs. When we get married, I'm not going to say, hey, forget that stag night dude, you're staying in. I would rather like it if his mates took him out and they did something FUN, something new and different, that he might not get to do again once babies and mortgages rear their respective heads.
Go hiking, take a fishing trip, do a round of skirmish! Enjoy your freedom, but don't you dare get nasty ass stripper butt on my fiancee. You think you're doing him a favour but what you don't understand is that look out - there is sex in teh marriages! He's not condemned to a pussy free future, guys. There's little you can buy him out there that he can't get at home for free, and why should you pay for it anyway? Why should I work my ass off to get money when all some tart has to do is shake it? Kinda not fair.
Side note: I take offense to stag nights, buck nights and you know why? The alternative is a HEN'S night. That doesn't even make sense, people! Chicken's don't marry deer. Why should the guys get an epic name and then the girls get saddled with a 'stay home and lay eggs' label?
I don't really know what I'm going to do when I have a Tigress night. Hopefully it won't involve sitting around sipping champagne while wearing a sash and a penis necklace because I really couldn't think of anything else that could be as lame. Champagne is bad enough without both parties offering homage to the penis.
Anyway, the way Alan just invited a plus one without permission, interrupted the father of the bride's toast, drugged everybody again, interrupted the wedding band, complained about stupid little things, tried to do away with the bride's little brother, crashed a boat into the wedding and stole a drug monkey just didn't make me laugh.
It wasn't funny, he was just being a twat.
'But, but we're a wolf pack!' Well hairy man, actions like this is what made you a one man wolf pack in the first place.
The jokes about people in group homes, ladyboys, 'smoking' monkeys and admiring your friend's bride's rack..in front of her brother... Was I supposed to find these funny?
Maybe these guys need to learn how to make funny-because-it's-offensive jokes work, or just not make bad sequels. Apparently Bridesmaids is pretty funny.
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