BELOW SUPER-ZERO

Like most people, I'm pretty happy with the way comic book movie adaptions are being handled. Comics aren't just for nerds anymore! No, forums for picking out all the flaws in comic book movie adaptions are for nerds. Also people like me. Who need a hobby. Shut up. Anyway, there are about a thousand new superhero or comic related movies and sequels and probably prequels and trilogies appearing out of nowhere this year.
Let's have a looksie.



DC COMICS

Superman: 5 movies, 1 in pre-production
Batman: 6 movies, 1 in pre-production
Green Lantern: 1 upcoming

MARVEL COMICS

X-men: 3 X-Men movies, 1 Origins movie about Wolverine and now X-Men: First Class about Magneto and the Professor
Spider-man: 3 movies in one trilogy, 'The Amazing Spider-Man'  is filming
Hulk: 1 film, 1 reboot
Fantastic Four: 2 movies
Iron Man: 2 hit movies, Iron Man 3 in development for 2013
Captain America: 1 movie coming soon
Thor: 1 movie
Daredevil: 1 movie

Even Dark Horse has a few hits. The Mask, Timecop, Hellboy, Sin City, Alien vs Predator and 300.

Notice something? Where are all the super heroine movies? Wellll.....

DC had Catwoman.. if you can call it that, seeing as how it wasn't exactly Catwoman as DC knows it. What you can call it was a flop. Go back a few years and there was also Supergirl - also not very well received and forever overshadowed by the Superman films.  Riding off Marvel's Daredevil came Elektra, but that wasn't very popular either. Dark Horse's Tank Girl was full of mixed reviews, while Barb Wire stole everything but the success of Casablanca.

These aren't really super heroines though, are they? Look at them. Most of them are villains or whack jobs. Who doesn't love a villain? The question is though, where ARE all the super heroine movies? Wonder Woman has one. It was pretty good, not really groundbreaking but pretty decent. Oh yeah, it was ANIMATED. It went STRAIGHT TO VIDEO. People never got to even HEAR about it. Supergirl had one too... but it was still more about Superman and his nemesis corrupting her.

Mystery Men's only really competent and functional member was female, but no one liked that film either. Why? It was hilarious and kooky. So, what? They only want females as the damsel in distress, the love interest or the sidekick? It's starting to look that way.

There's nothing wrong with being a sidekick, unless that's all you get to be. Hit Girl was fantastic but the movie needed to focus on Kick Ass, that was the whole point of it and that works. That was a great movie.
There's nothing wrong with being the love interest, except you're probably going to be the damsel in distress as well and that's all you'll get to be.

No one wants to risk a film's budget on something they have no confidence in. Superhero movies work because everyone identifies with the star. The Mask is a loser, Iron Man's up himself, Batman is conflicted, Superman's a saint.... oh, maybe scrap that last one.

He has problems, he's trying to do two lives in one, he wants romance, he's got a villain to fight with, he gets cool armour or weapons or something.. so why can't they make that work for the women?
Because it would be a girly film. Man can't watch girly films! No one can understand women! I shall laugh you out of the building!!

Really? Are we so different? Women often have to juggle more than one role - parent, cook, taxi driver, employed person, negotiator... why would no one believe super heroine?
I think that when they go to make these films they're trying to make it what men want - battle scenes, attractive half naked women. Then they think well, what do women want? Let's chuck in some sappy romance or something about wardrobe malfunctions or shoes.

In my opinion, they should just go in and try to make a good movie. The super hero movies that flopped all got a reboot, while the female ones are forgotten. The hell? Make one damn good movie about a super heroine, or even a villains along the lines of Batman Begins.

You show their past, their struggle, a hint of romance, their amazing transformation, the climax.. and then relax - recovery time. Don't go nuts on fan service, don't try to make it Desperate Housewives on training wings... just make it natural. Wonder Woman would be a perfect test subject.

She's one of the top three heavy hitters of DC, yet while both Batman and Superman have tons of movies, TV shows and animated shows.. she's had the campy 70's show, a direct to video movie and bit parts in other shows. I don't understand why. She's strong, reasonable, mysterious and beautiful. She's got interesting allies and fascinating villains. She is the one person in this animated world that can bring down both Batman and Superman, and even hold Superman while he freakin' cries.

Yet even with her newly reintroduced comic self, we've got people bitching about her outfit and Megan Fox dripping quotes about how lame it'd be to play her. Thank you, Megan. I'm sure Wonder Woman would say the same about your wonderful career. You know, that bit where you screamed a lot in Transformers, when you skanked up that pool... those.... other things I'm sure you did like, really well... compared to not only saving the friggin' world, but trying to bring peace and justice to it.

Wonder Woman is so popular because she's a genuinely nice person. She can punch the hell out of you, but just as easily talk to you instead. She's skilled with not only her fists, but many weapons and powers. She operates shelters and does her best to help out on other worlds too. She's the happy medium - Superman is too good for his own good and Batman's his evil twin brother but Wonder Woman, she's just awesome.

Plus there's all that delicious mythology going on there. Come on, Hollywood. Stop cranking out crap and do something right. Give me a super heroine I can get behind, not just badly acted villains, sidekicks or bit part X-Women.