Songs that make you go hmmmm....

There are some songs out in the Top 40 right now that.. well, I don't know if I like them or hate them. Some, I know I love and others I want to like but little quirks make me think twice. Then I remember that they're just songs, so who the heck cares right? Well, me and several others. But sharing is totally caring, and if they get on my nerves.. well, I hope they get on yours too.


HANGOVER - Taio Cruz (Feat Some Jerkoff)

I do like this one. Never had a hangover, so while others may groan, clutch their heads and writhe feebly on the ground.. I'm probably singing along. It really is a damn catchy one. My only problem is the little bits in between. Let's have a look at the lyrics.

so I can go until I blow up, eh
and I can drink until I throw up, eh
and I don’t ever ever want to grow up, eh
I want to keep it going, keep keep it going

Eh? Eh?! Eh.
What's with the ehs? If you stretch your imagination a little bit you could make them into 'heys' which are slightly more understandable. Those little 'ehs' don't seem like much but they remind me of another song..

DC New 52 - The Awkward Panels

While I've been catching up on the new DC 52... I found some interesting panels to offer up. Let me know what you think about these little eye catchers.

From Batgirl #3: 

Drag your eyes away from the epic sight of Batgirl hitching a ride on Gotham's notorious rail service and what do you see? What's that? 'For a good time, call the Red Hood?' Oh myyyyy. 

Suicide Squad in Your Pants!

Wow! I'm now up to date on the Suicide Squad and many other DC re-leech titles. I am sweet, sweet loving Huntress, Batgirl and Batwoman. Supergirl is interesting and Birds of Prey is too. Some of the other ones are a bit random. Enjoying Wonder Woman wandering down a street, waving her sword aloft and asking pedestrians if they've seen any harpies just hangin' around. Wonder Woman itself is a good comic.. the art is a bit distracting though. Now, Suicide Squad!

Where to start? Okay, how about HARLEY - you have impressed me with your super quick changes! You went from new clown-whore costume into rodeo-clown-whore costume in less than a panel, even though that corset can't be that easy to get out of, let alone your crazy stocking things.

Suicide Squad Harley Quinn

Yes, it's a little late to give a review about a comic that came out in September, but who asked you?
*insert rude hand sign here* (cue monocle drop and smash)

Anyway.. I've got mixed feelings. I've always had mixed feelings, it's part of being both a Libra and a psycho. Sometimes it does come in handy. I've got half a mind in each direction, so when something inevitable happens I can turn around and say 'I half told you so!'

This of course, doesn't make me many friends... which brings me back to comics.

Suicide Squad #1 - part of the new DC 52.

Cos We're Cosplaying Around!

Some of my recent adventures have involved costumes. ...Most of my recent costumes were worn on adventures.. Hmm, let me try again. People I know often don't recognise me because I tend to go out wearing crazy things. Most of them aren't really on purpose, it's just what I wear.

My workplace threw a Western style event and I had a lot of fun dressing up for that and I'm really looking forward to some upcoming Halloween events. It's nice when I get people asking me where I get/how I make my costumes, or if they can borrow one of them for their own parties. It's even nicer when people who I know are a lot more confident than I am in several ways - admire me because I can go out in public the way I do.

One of the highest compliments I've ever had was from an actress friend of mine. She said she wished she could dress like me. It's what she does for a living, but not something she could do in her spare time. It's just fun though, it's nice to be something or someone else for a day. I've just never grew out of the dressing up phase.

Jellyfish's Last Float

I haven't blogged for a while and I feel bad about it because there's just so much I have to let loose on teh internets and now I don't know where to start.

I guess I will by mentioning that we've been touched by two more close deaths.. the first one I will go into more detail on later because I just can't right now. The second, and much more recent was a co-worker of mine last Sunday. I heard about it because of random comments on Facebook and at first I thought 'holy crap, has he died?' quickly followed by 'No way, it must be some sort of in joke I'm not aware of.'
Then more and more comments and news swirled in and it became inescapable. Jellyfish had died. He was only a year older than me.

A Mortal Kombat Roast: Toasty!

Well, I seem to have misplaced myself. Where have I been? Yeah, small vacation to sort myself out, a buttload of assignments to successfully complete and then an actual vacation. By the way, I'm totally back.

More on those topics later - for now... Mortal Kombat 9!

Totally banned in Australia, but not from sale because I've heard tales of the many who have parted with their pennies to own it. So, I've seen some game play, not much but I thought I'd share my opinions on it. I haven't played a Mortal Kombat game properly because of my unreasonable trust of 3D game play and strange preference for Super Nintendo games.

I grew up with these games, and feasted on the bloodshed, storyline and interesting characters. So when my brother told me that he'd heard that this game had some strong ties to the older games, with some Back to the Future shizzle going on I was very interested.

However.. as awesome as the skull cam is.. man is it annoying to watch the same footage of internal damages, the screaming, and then the victim getting back on their feet after two seconds of hemorrhaging declaring that they're fine. What?! All that damage for nothing?! Stay down and shut up, damn it!

The women's clothing - no surprises here. They suck. I'm not just saying that because I'm sick of looking at gravity defying fake boobies.. but because it honestly grates on my nerves. Let's have a look at Sonya Blade. Once a great soldier, now she's wearing a painted on suit, including an army vest and dog tags.. with no bra. With no bra. No bra? What? Obviously there are no women working on the design team and/or it's entirely filled will blokes who like to wear burlap sacks around their privates and think everyone else should join them in a world of pain, scratching and disgusting habits.

But it’s not just that.. it’s that these women are given less and less clothing with each new game, while the men get more layers and more weapons. I mean sure, no one really wants to see Shao Kahn in a loin cloth but it did add a touch of realism. I look at these outfits and I want to SCREAM! Unless you’re made of Superman/Supergirl, you should really cover your soft underbelly unless like Mileena, you find being covered in your own blood and entrails damn hot.

Part of me would like to suggest that going out into the arena like this is saying to your opponent – ‘Hey, nice blades, but I don’t fear you enough to wear armour.’ The smarter part of me knows that no one thought about the women this way, and they’re only almost naked because it sells. This makes me sad and violent. Is it too much to ask for a few realistic characters?

Zombie Liu Kang, sure. Multi-limbed beings of terror, yes please. Trees that talk back, why not? Time travel – of course. All of this is believable.. I’m not asking for three dimensional characters and things that make sense. I’m asking for at least one fucking woman character that looks battle appropriate. If you wouldn’t wear that into a combat area, or zombie invasion or on a date with a being that eats souls.. DON’T MAKE ANYONE ELSE WEAR IT.

Now Kitana.. what’s with her hair? Why is it doing a Sindel? Sure, she’s her daughter but still.. so annoying. Didn’t Jade used to have some sort of ethnicity?

It kinda bothers me that the Klassic Kostumes for Kitana and Jade are being called horrible granny swimsuits.. I have images of the future offspring of these commentators running around in g-strings and pasties at the beach, because anything that vaguely covers the buttocks is apparently so incredibly old fashioned that only surfing grandmas would wear them.

If I had to describe granny swimsuits, I’d probably refer to the modest 1920’s bathing suits as I haven’t really seen many geriatrics at the beach lately. Although having said that, with many women having children younger, grannies aren’t as old as they stereotypically are anymore.

Mortal Kombat’s newest release has not performed an amazing fatality over my Super Nintendo games but it has killed a part of my love for it. I’m just not as interested as I used to be, even though I like the new features, and the beautiful graphics and all that. Although the battle realistic damage to the clothes seems to have a glitch in that it only seems to affect the women’s outfits around the privates. I’m sure they’ll get right on to fixing that very soon.

I’m a girl who loves sex, adores fighting and encourages blood thirsty battles, but it hurts the few feelings I have to know that the makers of MK don’t consider me their target audience at all and continue to pander to fanboys. It’s not doing them any favours either, fanboys and girls hardly get respect as it is.  

It would be nice to have a game that didn’t make me feel like I’ve just wandered into the dirty video section of the rental store. It would be nice to have a fighting game where it’s about fighting, not just supermodels and thugs. Don’t we have enough sex and violence going on? Aren’t there enough sexed up parodies of females in military/combat roles?

Final word: You’re all soft for having the walk throughs teaching you how to do fatalities lol

I Thought it Was Supposed to be 'Clucky', Not 'Woofy?'

So, the other day I'm on FaceBook and I notice that several peoples and friends have written on my buddy Jambo's plank. Um, wall. (I use Pirate language. There is no other way to live.)
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY SHOULD I CARE?!?!

I still don't know the answer to any of those questions, but what made me curious was that most of them were writing things like 'Congratulations!' or 'I'm so happy for you!'
Which made me wonder if said fairly new weds were perhaps knocked up?

I do try not to think about them doing it, I really try. If indeed there was a bouncing baby blight on the way though, I figured I should write something too. People seem to expect that. (Congratulations! You found out the secret to procreation! Humankind owes it's existence to *you!*)

Train Spotting AKA The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Today I'm writing about this article on a boy that got hit by a train.

footage-released-of-boy-being-hit-by-train Via NineMSN 15:30 AEST Fri Aug 26 2011

When I first read that title I was like, 'no way are they going to show some kid getting killed!' Of course, they didn't. The lucky ass kid survived. I hope he didn't lose too many brain cells because frankly, he needs them.
Obviously I'm not sitting in my chair gleefully rubbing my hands together at the prospect of people getting hit by trains, but at the risk of 'victim blaming' I'm still going to say that if you run over train tracks, you're kind of asking for it.

So Sexy It Huuurts...

Okay, I have a very dirty mind. I had to put one of my friends on the 'show less' pile - lovely friend but I really needed to see other updates apart from hers - so I go off to check what she's been up to. She's a fan of a FaceBook group named 'A parents sex life' (sic)

I have nothing against this site. It could very well be the first page I've seen in a buttload's time that isn't filled with spam or those annoying 'here's another page you should like. Like, like for a like?' Damn, I hate those. So I'm looking at the wall and I see.. NAUGHTY MAD-LIBS!!!

Only problem is, everyone else who is posting is being too shy to say what they really think. I'm brave enough to do it though.

Kitty, Kitty, Quite Contrary... Where did your ears go?

There is more to being Catwoman than having cat ears. That said, you do kind of expect it. Otherwise, why not call yourself Burglar Woman? Thief Girl? Theft Lady? Selina Kyle is a cat person, owning enough to prompt a change of name to CatLady as well as donating to and acting on their best interests let alone dressing like a cat.
Then of course she IS a cat burglar.

When I decided to grace the world with my presence this fine morning, I was confronted with an uproar about Catwoman's apparent lack of ears. Alrighty then. There's always so much drama about the female stars in these movies. Firstly everyone whined that Anne Hathaway surely could NOT be playing teh Catwomans! People wondered if she would be sexy enough. Now it's all about the ears.

Suicide Squad Madness

I'm in a totally Harley Quinn mood right now - I just finished framing all of my photos and unique artwork of her. That's not too bad, considering my hectic schedule of.... of..... huh. I'll get back to you on that.
Anyway, I won't get the next Arkham City until tomorrow, Sirens won't be out for a bit and I've just read Batman: Streets of Gotham/House of Hush (.. boy, try saying that a few times fast) which featured a few references to Harley, namely her hair colour.

Oh, I enjoyed the Jenny Duffy story a lot but for someone who has the appearance of awesomeness, she sure rags on Harley a lot. I mean, really? You're an Alice in Wonderland knock off, dearie. This graphic novel is still in the Gotham City Sirens time frame because Selina is having sleeping troubles. Namely when Harley Quinn tries to kill her. Turns out she's sleepwalking. Kind of. Bedbugs!!

Ick! 'Don't blame my kitties!' Selina mews. 'It's probably her hyenas!'
I'm sure her hyenas ate the damn cats like they did the dogs. Typical cat people and their weird priorities. Not the hyenas? Try a new villain named Bedbug! .....Eew... Still, could have taken a leaf out of Bat-mite's book name-wise. Be grateful.

Facebook 30 Days of Confessions

Day 1; Your biggest fear.
People pawing through my stuff after I pass away and thinking 'what was this girl's damage? Look at all this crap!!' Which is a long version of saying I'm afraid of being completely misunderstood, I guess.

Day 2; Worst nightmare.
Well, I have a lot of random nightmares. One that sticks out and left me shaking when I woke up was one where I was lost in a bazaar filled with horrible torture devices and disgusting objects that no one else seemed to notice. I came across someone I knew vaguely, and when their friend said something about us I went to go pat them on the back as an apology and they were paper thin. I felt like I could destroy them without even trying or meaning to. I probably should have listened to that dream as it turned out to be quite predictive. 
 
Day 3; Something you wish you could forget.
My past failures. It would be nice to forget them, but you do learn so much from them as well so it's important to remember the lesson more than the actual failure.

Day 4; Best dream.
If only it were that simple. I do not dream. I watch sagas unfold while I sleep.

Gotham City Sirens #25

                                                  A Sister's Betrayal!/FRIENDS part three

After what seemed like a year, my partner and I went comic shopping. I was hoping to pick up the next Arkham City but apparently that's been postponed another week or so. How does that keep happening? Is the Arkham City comic licenced by DC Direct? Oh well, at least I got the latest Sirens.

Now I'd seen the cover before I bought the issue, but a few things bothered me about it. I mean, it makes enough sense - Harley and Ivy wanting revenge on Catwoman. Although, the words 'sister's betrayal' and the fact that one of Catwoman's eyes look like her sister Maggie's when she got all church demon-crazy made me think that they were going to tie Maggie all up in this somehow.

That said, it's a great cover. Harley Quinn being the more obvious threat, wielding her spike and nail riddled hammer and Ivy lurking in the bushes. (fancy that) Catwoman is a bit stuck and I'm stuck wondering how low they're going to have her zipper until they finally answer the question of if she's wearing a bra or not. Of course, her breasts are far less dangerous than they were in the purple painted on spandex era but that doesn't make this question any less relevant.

Batman: Arkham City #3

Choosing Sides

Awesome, visually appealing cover. The tear stained mascara seems to be a hot thing for Harley Quinn now but hey, at least she makes it work. The black dye of one of her pigtails looks chlorine pool green, but I can over look that.

So the comic opens on a security van zooming through the streets of Arkham City before the grand opening. Or is that closing? Anyway, random thug provides some commentary from the street corners and I think to myself, damn it, Batman, get a job!

Well, apparently he's looking for one and both the Joker and Penguin are offering! The Joker-coaster from the game trailer is explained here as a sort of informal interview. Where Joker gets the time and tools required to make all these themed death traps is beyond me. Moving on. Bat-thug makes an excellent leap of faith and find out that the second interview is a little more personal.

Little Miss Springfield

Today's hot topic - child beauty pageants.

There may be some that will disagree with me on this but I can't help but think that any kind of beauty pageant is an oxymoron, let alone moronic.

With the kids ones, I really do find it pretty sad. I hate seeing little kids on the street, at a birthday party or at dinner just whipping out their iPods, iPhones, DS and PSP or what have you and no one looks twice. It's not the kid's fault, they are the result of the super techno information generation after all.

It's just that when I was growing up, we had to look after what we got because if we broke our Super Nintendo, if the GameBoy went bust, you know, that was it. Maybe if we were lucky we might get a new one. If we were responsible, we could get our own mobile phone when we were old enough.

Now it's a bit like.. well, why look after your phone? It'll be obsolete in a few months anyway and you'll HAVE to get an upgrade so who cares? Instead of waiting until Christmas for a few new games, people will buy these youngsters all the games they want for any special occasion.

The Ancient Art of Karaoke

I love to sing. My sister has always been the openly musically gifted one but I have snuck out from behind the drum set and the percussion jungle to join the lead singer of the band, dude. Well, sort of.
My voice, in my opinion, has always been kind of... manly. Of course, I always used to say that about my shadow too. Obviously my opinions there and also my perspective are skewed in a self depreciating kind of way.

Impersonations are really fun to do but you should never really do this outside the home, unless you're going for laughs. The most common mistake when people start singing is that they try to sound like the artist. This is bad if you're going for someone like Mariah Carey, Britney Spears or Ke$ha. Of course, that's bad in the first place before you even start singing.

Failure to Communicate

There has actually been a little drama going on in my life! Well, it depends who you talk to. I'm not exactly a drama llama, I keep to myself and don't spoil for fights. Most people I'm not close friends with find it easy to ignore me. UNLESS!! Something I've said could relate to them in their past, present or future. Which is probably why I'm not a big fan of people.

General Scenario:
Lucky Tiger: ....and that's my view of our political situation.
Random: Uh huh.
Lucky Tiger: This is one lovely day we're having, isn't it?
Random: Mmmm.
Lucky Tiger: Oh crap, my head's on fire!!
Random: You don't say.
Lucky Tiger: Don't look now but *you're* head is on fire too!!
Random: OMFGWTFHALP!!!1!!!111!!!!
Lucky Tiger: Lolz JKs
Random: ....what?

The Unbloggable

Okay, it was my bad. Turns out my friend had loaded that damn profile application - which caused all the extra ads so I'm sorry Facebook. Facebook always looks different whenever I log onto it via computer so I attributed to that without thinking. However, having said that - I've been forcibly added to two more groups, had multiple service issues and Facebook never seems to want to notify me about anything anymore. This leaves me to stalk my own page like a lone, festering zombie.

Tigerey Updates

Well it's been a while since I've blogged, so sorry! I just haven't had much time to come on here for personal time. I do like that though, that I'm not glued to a computer 24/7. It's nice to actually live again - how we used to before all this.

I do use Facebook on my phone so when I come on the actual Internet and see weird things happening it disturbs me. There weren't enough ads on Facebook already? Hurray, let's chuck some more in, smack bang in the middle of your feed. Let's put some updates to the right side of the adverts that are usually there so you're more likely to click on the ads by accident. Let's give you the option to 'change layout' or 'remove layout' and then just chuck it right back on there a minute after you remove it.

Literary Fever

Because I often enjoy the agony and drawn out suspense of anticipating book/comic/statue releases, I am happy to announce that two books I need are coming out soon.
The first is Skulduggery Pleasant: The Death Bringer.

Whoop. Freakin' Whoop. I love this series! Yes, I do feel sort of bad when I walk into a book store to purchase it and find it in the youth if not children's section... but then I realise that it's a great book and children have great taste. Sometimes. Sometimes I cry when I watch children's programming. It's pretty crap and badly drawn compared to the awesome stuff we had. Poor bastards. *sniff*

Gotham City Sirens #24

'The Joke's on You!' / FRIENDS

This came around sooner than I thought. Perhaps I should just forget that Harley Quinn exists in the time that it takes for her new issues to come out. So far that seems to have worked this time, although I did have some nice shiny Harley Quinn statues and other models/figurines to distract myself with so I'll have to try that next time.


Search Amazon.com for harley quinn statues


Still, awesome cover. Harley is back to her gorgeous self, enveloped in bliss as she wraps her arms around her gun totin' Puddin'. Looming in the background is Clayface. Hi Clayface. Yes, the last issue did say he would cameo, but I figured if he made the cover he was going to have a pretty big part in the story but he didn't so I'm not sure what's going on there.

Transformers: Dark Side of the Review

It's not really a dark side. I just thought it would make my review sound cooler. Also, it rings in with the title of the new Transformers movie. My partner and I went and saw it last week - and as always we missed our Transformers partner, who is unavailable to watch any of the sequels but is perhaps glancing down at the reviews from heaven.

Immediately after watching this one, I realised I probably should have re-watched the first two before seeing this one. It was a nice, back to basics kind of movie but it was filled with little throwbacks and references to things I can't remember. Were those little 'Formers in the second movie? What's with the rabbit's foot again? Who am I and what am I doing here?!

Prop It Like You're Hot

I've got a new friend. Wow. That makes it sound like I have trouble making friends. Which I don't. So let me start again. I have a new friend - that shares my interest in cosplay, conventions and games. It's about damn time. Penguin is like that, but she also scares away other potential dress upperers. Also she takes a really long time to actually do anything about it even though the decision to suddenly turn up to a movie night as some random character will strike as quick as lightning.

I love Penguin, I really do, but sometimes she's frustrating about that stuff hahaha. If it sounds like I'm being mean, let me put it in perspective.. every year, we have to have a birthday celebration for her towards the end, even though her actual day is nearer the start. I really admire the effort she goes too, though.

Did Sombody Say.... Hack?

The other night I saw an ad protesting the 'nanny state' of plain packaged cigarettes. (Via ABC News)
I was really surprised that they bothered to make it. You can see what they're trying to do, putting forward how smokers are adults, smoking is legal, look how crazy the nonsmokers are!

All they're doing is changing the packaging. There have been gross pictures of the effects of smoking on the packets for years, if that hasn't put you off, blank packaging won't have a chance. If price increases don't put you off, nothing will. If the fact that you're paying someone to kill you slowly hasn't stemmed your appetite for it, well, yeah, nothing will.

What in the Harley Heckies?

So I wandered back to the realm of teh Internets, and I'm reading about another DC universe reboot. Yeah, I'd heard about it before now, but I didn't really pay too much attention. Hey, I love comics but hell, they're comics. They reboot so much these days it's like watching a beloved family computer restart itself to death. It's sad, but you can't help but keep a little hope alive in case things get better.

Well, I'm not stressing too much about another super dramatic super tie-in universe and multi verse ultra drama llama special edition because it just screams to me that the company is realising how their sales are going and then deciding to pull a 'season finale' attention grabber. DC is getting a bit like that hypochondriac you always see at the doctor's surgery.

As for the rest of my week that wasn't consumed with the worshipping of comic character statues and books, well, I've been quite sick. Not actually sick, but damn near incapacitated on two nights with migraines and nausea. The day times held no problems. Just those two nights. Monday, I think I may have just been dehydrated but I'm not sure what happened the next night.

Nothing major though and I'm glad to be back on track. I went to the doctor anyway and had a blood test. I've never been too good with needles, but apparently I'm getting better. They hurt so much more putting something in as opposed to taking something out. This crazy lady was just taking vials and vials of my precious blood and all I could think about was the little sucky noise it was making.

We Need To Work On Our Math Debating!!

Well, what a week so far. My pre-order of the Women of the DC Universe series 3 Harley Quinn bust finally arrived so that was great. It's designed by Amanda Connor and depicts Harley on a deck of cards base looking quite evil while devouring a Joker lollipop. Because the actual title of this model is such a mouthful, I've been referring to this part of my collection simply as 'Puddin' Pop Harley'.

The little details by sculptor Jim Maddox are really quite nice to look at. One side of the deck she's standing on is defaced, but not to the extreme so it would be possible to overlook that at first glance. The pom-poms on her neck piece and liliripes are pock marked like little golf balls, giving the impression that they would be fluffy to the touch. Obviously they aren't but it is an area that most Harley statues don't bother with so the attention to detail pleased me.

Arkham General Landmass

I meant to post a lot sooner than this but I've been quite busy and I don't mind a bit of Internet free time. When I was last on the Internet, I checked out some of the new Arkham City game trailers. Not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I'm not a game player. That is, I love games, but I prefer them retro - like Super Nintendo, The old Game Boy, board games...charades... haha. That's not to say I don't play more current ones - we own a Nintendo Wii now and I have some computer games that I still like to rock. I just can't get into all the PlayStation and Xbox games.

None of the games interest me and the controllers suck. It's not as fun as when I was a kid with my Super Nintendo, having to do everything the hard way and having fun while doing so. These days, if you don't get it, just look up the cheats on the Internet. Too much reading? Watch a walk through on YouTube. Too much effort? Open an in-game dialogue on the game with your friends.

Retro Fever, or Beaver Fever? Beliebe it.

I'm so stoked, one of my eBay orders arrived today and guess what it is? I can't hear you, so I'll tell you anyway!! *Squee!!* Four British first editions of Mai, the Psychic Girl. Holy crap!

I used to read this series when I visited the library after school and I loved it. Never seen it since though, especially after some spunk wad decided to deface the few, non-sexual nude scenes with some interesting additions of penises (amongst other things) and the library removed it.

There's not a lot of information about it on the vast internets which is a bit dissapointing. Until I read the Wikipedia page for it, I had no idea that it was one of the first manga to be published in English. I just loved the detailed, yet simplistic art, the interesting story and how it's still a timeless story, understandable to any generation.

I think it Was Called, 'The Train That Couldn't Slow Down'

After we had dinner last night we got back and curled up for a movie. I love cuddling, it makes movies like, ten times better. We watched 'Unstoppable' because I hadn't seen it yet. I'm either too hip, or not hip enough to see things at the movies - I can't tell anymore.

Anyway, it wasn't that bad. It certainly delivered a movie about a train, and I did enjoy it. I'm still going to pick the fleas out of it though. The box art was suffering from a bout of 'this didn't happen in the film but it looks pretty cool' like a lot of DVDs out there.

I hope you're wearing a condom, because I've got a dirty mind..

The other random weekend thing I should mention was a sex party. Yeah, I got excited too, then I was told it was a toy/lingerie sales night. Still, I haven't been able to make the last few parties she's had so I thought I'd pop into this one, not that I was really interested in it.

I dragged some friends along for moral support and safety in numbers. There was a time when I had a use for these kinds of things but since I'm back with my partner there really isn't any need for them at all. So I figured, why not make it a girls night, and boost the party numbers for my friend? I mean, the last party of hers I went to was her baby shower, and I only knew a few people there apart from the hostess.

I Vant To Suck Your Cocktails!

Well, I really enjoyed my last weekend and surrounds. Friday I went to a 21st at Dracula's... I don't think I'm a huge fan of Dracula's anymore. The first time I went was for my 18th and by the time they got the meals out to us it was time for our scheduled photo. When we got back, five minutes later our untouched meals were gone. We finally got our replacement meals after everyone had finished their dessert, but the company made it interesting and the show I remember as funny. 

One for the money, two for the spoilers, three for the COMICS!

Hurray! My Arkham City #2 arrived! Or well, I thought it did. They said they couldn't hold the comic for me because I don't have a billion dollar account with the store. Why? I don't know. I can certainly spend enough in those damn places but I guess I'm just more selective with what I read in that I mainly chase Harley Quinn, not things like Brightest Day or whatever just because they're the hottest thing around.

I wouldn't mind reading a collected Blackest Night - mostly because of the Black Lanterns I saw in the Secret Six. Really though, are the black rings heaters or something? Those guys really putrefied fast. I guess the black could absorb more heat than say, a blurple ring but it *was* night time and... oh whatever.

Hopping Madness

So I was reading the news the other day and I saw something about Hugh Hefner opening a Playboy Club in London and the outrage surrounding it.

I've never really understood Playboy. It's supposed to be a little men's club, but.. all of the merchandise is aimed at, and bought by women. I shudder when I see teenage girls with the 'bunny' naval rings or bikinis. Not just because they're Playboy brands but because it is a brand. Why do you have to keep buying things from people who are already stinking rich? Now they're just going to put the price up again so you can feel snooty about owning it while you line their pockets.

Bubblegum Pop Electric Crisis

When I was in my early high school days - yes, before the Internet consumed my life - my family had this little Saturday night ritual. We'd go to church, have dinner then sit down and watch AAAAAAhhh it's the Mr. Hell Show!!!!! and then I'd watch Bubblegum Crisis: Tokyo 2040 while everyone else would watch something weird like The Bill.

For those that have yet to experience the Mr. Hell show.. don't wait any longer. This is must see television. Or rather, DVD. Which I glomped the second I saw it in JB HiFi, having almost come to the sad realisation that it wasn't going to ever live in Australia.

Shock, Lock and a Smoking Comic

Today we're going to talk about the Secret Six. Man, I love the Secret Six! Naturally, I first picked it up because I heard Harley Quinn made a little appearance in Birds of Prey: Dead of Winter as one of the six. I've already mentioned her involvement on a previous blog but she seemed a little kookier than usual. I had to convince myself that it was because of her insanity, her tentative link to humanity and love of humour that she couldn't pummel that delightful Misfit to the ground.

Still, no complaints. There were a few characters I was unfamiliar with but I've always loved a villain and the Birds of Prey series so I decided to check out the rest of the Secret Six.

#13thingsilove - TwitBlog

This is what Twitter had for me today. I didn't feel like typing, posting, typing, posting, so lucky YOU. You get to read them all nowskis.

Tiger, Tiger, Ranting Right, Sitting Up Blogging All Night

So about a week ago, I posted a blog about what happened over the last two years, AKA how my life got flipped, turned upside down - or in layman's terms - fuckederonie! And then I was like, why should I have to explain my life? It happened, or tried to, and now it's forgotten. Like it should be.

I don't care if anyone read it. I don't care if HE read it. I don't give a rat's ass if it made me look bad or if people think I'm lying or exaggerating. My blog is my place, and I don't need a reminder of that idiot to bring it down. My blog is going to be about my rambles and happenings, fun little tigery things.

BELOW SUPER-ZERO

Like most people, I'm pretty happy with the way comic book movie adaptions are being handled. Comics aren't just for nerds anymore! No, forums for picking out all the flaws in comic book movie adaptions are for nerds. Also people like me. Who need a hobby. Shut up. Anyway, there are about a thousand new superhero or comic related movies and sequels and probably prequels and trilogies appearing out of nowhere this year.
Let's have a looksie.

Wolf Pack Smells Like a Hangover

Went out and treated my love to dinner and a movie last night, we ended up seeing the Hangover II. I'd been told it was not as good as the first one - they never are - but funny nevertheless.
I just didn't really enjoy it. I haven't seen the first one since it came out in the cinemas, but as soon as I was in there again it just seemed like the old plot in a new setting. No, that's not surprising at all, you know it's basically the same story again when you go in to see it but it was like they were riding on the popularity of the previous movie and didn't bother to put any effort in.

Okay, Who Dropped the Reality Ball?!

I'm not one for much TV. I prefer to watch DVDs, as many of the shows I do want to watch aren't shown anymore, or aren't available in Australia. Or are on at stupid hours and with the DVDs I don't have to watch ads and I can re watch them to my heart's delight.

What I hate about TV though, is the disturbing appearance of so many reality shows. No, I don't watch them. Yet I still hear about them, they're in all of our magazines and advertising, in the DVD racks at video stores and flowing out on word of mouth. Everywhere!! Why?! I thought the whole point was that ordinary TV shows are boring and fake, so someone decided to make it all REAL.

Shop, Drop and Comic Review

This time the comic in my sexy little hands is Batman: Arkham City #1!

I had to wait a while for this one, they sold out this prequel to the video game sequel issue straight away. There's only going to be five issues and smelling a collector's item, some eBay peoples already had the single issue up for something around ten bucks. Ouch.

It's penned by the Harley Quin creatin' machine Paul Dini and illustrated by Carlos D'anda, who I haven't heard of but I'm sure he's pretty cool too.

Stop, Drop and Comic Review

So last weekend I finally got my hot little hands on the comics I wanted the previous weekend. Actually, that was all I got. Haha, cheapest comic trip ever, my boyfriend couldn't believe it! Of course, it cost more for parking but hey, that's what a comic nerd has to do to get by.

So, because you all care so much, here are my thoughts.


Gotham City Sirens #23 - FRIENDS Part One

Medium Hot Bottom Five

Today I'm listing the worst things about FaceBook. Why five, you ask? I know you've seen me whinge about this site enough while continuing to use it, surely I can do more than that.
Of course I can, don't doubt me! I only happen to have five fingers I can count on, because I don't like typing with my stripey socks.

#5

Groups.

Yay, groups! Who doesn't love joining groups? No one. So, FaceBook made a new feature that makes you join groups whether you want to or not. It's true. Your friends can use yesterday's 'suggest group to friends' button or they can just make their own group, chuck you in it and let you receive a bazillion updates on things you don't care about, and you won't understand why you're getting them.

Planking Plonkers

Okay, so there's a lot of hype about planking at the moment. I know my ears perked up when I heard about it! Only I thought we were going to be pushing people off planks with swords, like pirates do in movies. Again my dreams were dashed, because planking, for those who have no idea (...somehow.. ) is basically taking a picture of yourself lying facedown somewhere.. for some reason.

Songs in 30 Days Or Less

Oh no, I won't condemn you into the 30 Day Facebook Song Challenge. Let's do it in one fell swoop, me hearties. Arrrr.

Day 01 – Your favourite song
'Stars' - Simply Red


Also one of my favourite bands. This song has been popular in my family for ages, and it will always hold a place in my heart.

Day 02 – Your least favourite song
'Nasty Girl' - Nitty

(I'm not linking this crap, you think I want to turn away potential readers?!)

Actually, I'm flattering it by calling a song. I hate samples. I enjoy some samples, but overall I hate them because little pieces of trash like Nitty here butcher and skankify beloved songs like 'Sugar, Sugar' by the Archies. It was big at the time but thankfully I seem to be the only person who remembers this loser. Be grateful I don't know where you live, Nitty.

Day 03 – A song that makes you happy
'Move Your Feet' - Junior Senior


Don't stop (don't stop) don't stop the beat!
Can't stop (can't stop) can't stop the beat!
I Won't stop (won't stop) won't stop the beat, and go!

How can you not feel happy with a song like this?? I also love the clip, a brilliant little destructive squirrel animated thing with references to Star Wars, it's so suggestive yet still innocent.

Aw, hell-diddly-ding-dong-crap!

I'm all about the retro. I miss having a tape player in my car, although Cd's are nice too. The other day while I was cleaning up, I found an old radio station's (I believe it may have been the original Switch FM) C+C and the Music Factory's 'Gonna make you sweat' mixed in with quotes from the Simpsons.
Namely 'Simpson Tide' and 'Homer's Phobia' but possibly a few other tidbits.
I laughed out loud, I tell you. It was great.



(Humming along to 'Shoop') 'Do do dooo do do, do do do.. Come on boy. Today we're gonna..AHH!!'
'I can make music..'
'You can??'
'You bet I can! Listen!'

EVERYBODY EVERYBODY EVERYBODY DANCE NOW

Sign Up To FaceKook

Yeah, we've all got those kooky friends on FaceBook.

The ones that turn your status into their life story no matter what you wrote.
The one that writes personal messages as their status because they can't tell the difference from your wall and the news feed.
That guy who keeps posting ten thousand links from the same website.
The status repeater - either they forgot they wrote it last week already or it was five minutes ago with a typo and they apparently don't have a delete button.
THE ONE THAT WRITES IN CAPS LOCK.
The one that just got married and everything has to end with 'my fantastic husband' or 'the love of my life' or else the world will implode.
The one who preaches tolerance, acceptance, non-judgemental way of life and peace but then posts something like 'So and So's a faggot' or 'You're a mute, Ariel, obviously the only reason the prince liked you was because you're hot!'
The one who can't spell, we can forgive. Mostly. The ones who spell like they're trying to be black, white, hip and on drugs at the same time can go to hell.
There's one who pity-posts... everything is so tragic, then her friends come and boost her up until the next attention seeking post comes out.
Those idiots that keep posting those 'it's mother's week!' copy and paste status updates when someone else on your list keeps posting 'it's brother's week!' ones, get your schedule right!
The ones that actually click on those 'OMG Dad walks in on daughter's first time' videos/links and then it gets spammed around.
The one that can only address problems by telling someone off..... on their FaceBook page. In anon code.
The one that just copies old jokes and gets all the likes for some reason.

A little more detail on this one - the controversial poster. One of my friends posted a pretty good thought train - haven't got time for excercise? Do you have time for illness then? and it got some mixed reactions.
I wanted to say a lot about that. Mostly negative. I work casually, but it can be full on and very physical. I often start and finish at stupid hours. The last thing I want to do is go to the gym, most times. With these work times I can't really join a sports team, and it's hard to get to the gym class I do a lot. I have access to a gym, I have a lot of sex and sometimes we take the dog for a walk. By no means do I have a concrete schedule.

As well as that, I'm still battling depression and as well as finding the time, it can be really hard to get motivated. It's fine for this girl, she's a stick figure who works in exercise physiology. I'm not saying that what she's saying is wrong, definately exercise is for the better. It's the way she came across in the comments, that stop making excuses war general kind of speech. One of her friends got a bit offended, saying that when you have a baby in your life it gets harder as well. My friend was like, make the baby part of your routine, they can be a weight in sit ups and you can push the pram around, like, a lot and stuff.

Really, you can tell she doesn't have kids. Hell, even I know that babies aren't going to sit still and act as an exercise prop. More than likely they'll pull your hair, throw up or drool on you or fall off you and start crying. How many reps do you think this lady can do with a distraction like that? As for the prams, yeah good suggestion. Only you have to think of the kid as well. It's gotta fit in with their naptime, make sure the sunscreen keeps going on, pre-make bottles. It's a lot to organise. Then I'm guessing this woman has to come back home and make dinner for her family, wash up and clean after them.. she'll be exhausted.

Sometimes it just isn't that easy. Very much like the highly paid who complain in their updates that the barista/waitstaff/storeperson they just abused should get a real job.
Yes. It's just that easy.

The one I hate most is the kind that post about killing their children on FaceBook and...wait, what?
Oh, holy shit.

Herald Sun

A CRUEL father who posted a message "Bout 2 kill ma kid'' on Facebook before stabbing his two-year-old daughter to death formally pleaded guilty today.

A previous court hearing was told that after kidnapping Yazmina outside her Hallam home, a pitiless Acar gave her mum Rachelle D'Argent updates on his plan to murder their daughter as she desperately tried to persuade him to bring her home.

He used Facebook, SMS and phone calls to taunt Ms D'Argent and the murder was in revenge for her ending their relationship.

Here's another one who thinks kids are just objects. What sick people do that to their kids, to get back at their partner? You can see why she dumped the bastard. RIP Yazmina.

I'll stop complaining now.

Sharia Law, soon to be Shazza's Law?

I think the biggest problem Muslim people must have is the outspoken rotten apples that get under everyone's skin, very much like the Bible-basher's that Christianity has.
It's hard to understand their culture because there are so many sides to consider. Reports of sexism, and cruelty to women on one hand will be refuted with another, and then someone else butts in that that's only sometimes the case and it depends where you live.

Australia seems to be getting even more multiculti-friendly though, Halal is everywhere it seems, everyone knows that terrorist doesn't equal Muslim and there's more trustworthy information out there.

This story from the Australian bugs me though.

ISLAMIC preacher Ibrahim Siddiq-Conlon points heavenwards to emphasise his message for the governments of Australia -- there is no God but Allah and only his laws should be obeyed.

"My attack is on the Prime Minister of Australia," he said yesterday. "I hate the parliament in Canberra. I want to go straight for the jugular vein and advise the parliament that they have no right to legislate. They should immediately step down and let the Muslims take over."

"One day Australia will live under sharia; it's inevitable," he said. "If they (Australians) don't accept it, that's not our problem. We hope, and our objective is to have a peaceful transition, but when you look at history that has never been the case. There's always been a fight. It is inevitable that one day there will be a struggle for Islam in Australia."

Siddiq-Conlon shrugs off concerns his campaign will damage the moderate Muslim community. "If it causes a backlash against the Muslims, I can't help that. This is a necessary debate."

LOL what a dick. This is what I believe, who cares if anyone else pays for it? Niiiiice. I would have said something like, if you hate the government so much, why stick around? Go somewhere else. This guy is Australian born so that makes it difficult. Although, you see how he turns it into a 'them' (Australians) VS 'us' (the... uh.. other Australian).
Seriously though, if you hate it so much, improve it or bugger off.

Now, this guy's idea of improving it is introducing the slicing and dicing of hands for crimes, stoning and the destruction of democracy. Which makes it hard for someone like me to say 'well, golly gee, we should totally give this a try.' Even when the other more reasonable voice tells us that Sharia law doesn't have to be hard line blood and guts.

From Adelaide Now:

THE nation's peak Muslim group is using the Gillard government's re-embracing of multiculturalism to push for the introduction of sharia in Australia, but it says it would be a more moderate variety of Islamic law that fits with Australian values.
In the submission, the Australian Federation of Islamic Councils acknowledges some Muslims believe Islamic law is immutable, regardless of history, time, culture and location.  The AFIC argues this is not the case and sharia can be applied in a way that fits in to Australia and is not extreme.

A hard line reading of sharia confers unilateral divorce rights on men, while women who initiate divorce are stripped of their property and financial entitlements.

A more moderate interpretation and common practice in Islamic countries is to recognise divorce by mutual consent.

In the interview, Mr Patel said: "I'm saying that instead of letting the extremists within Islam take over the agenda, we are saying there is a path whereby it will work for all the communities in a moderate way.

"It is important for someone who is Muslim or a practising Jew that aspects of our religion which can be incorporated within the greater legal system are introduced.  This is about personal issues about family, and won't affect any other Australian," he said.

See, that's much better. Only who do you believe? Governments can't do anything right anyway, what's to say that later on the reasonable voice here won't be drowned out by Mr. Let's Stone Stuff, Guys!

Australia is famous for multiculturalism but a lot of it's people seem to be getting annoyed with it. Not because of the cultures living inside it, but because in this case we know that this would never happen in Muslim countries. They fight for Islamic schools to be build here, a Catholic one would never get past the paperwork there. They can wear what they like over here, chances are you're going to have to burqa up if you go for a social call there. Some Nando's and butchers in the local area won't sell bacon, and they won't sell it over there no matter what religion you are.

Why is that? We have to respect their culture without getting anything in return? Which is the key issue. Why on earth should we allow some violent nut job to walk in and declare that the government is crap, only Muslim law should be obeyed, and that they'll fight us for it? If someone tried to over throw Sharia law in a Muslim country.. well, you can imagine that wouldn't go down too well.

Daily Telegraph:

In calling for religious freedom to be respected, the Pope appealed for reciprocity - full rights for Christians in Islamic states where laws ban them from practising their faith openly. Such a call does not sound unreasonable. No Christian state bans the practising of Islam, but the 3.5 million Christians of all denominations who live in the Gulf Arab region, the birthplace of Islam, are barely tolerated and any form of non-Muslim worship takes place in private.

Afghanistan is not alone. Islamic nations which regularly issue calls for the West to respect Islam and show tolerance for its traditions, rarely practise what they preach.

A 200-page study of religious freedom reveals that Christianity is under siege in the Islamic world and that the dwindling number of Christians still living in Islamic nations remain among the most oppressed.

In Afghanistan, courts apply Islamic Sharia law to the interpretation and judging of individual cases concerning, for example, blasphemy or apostasy - crimes which are not covered by the penal code.

Under Islamic law, the death penalty applies for these crimes.The same applies in Bangladesh, where Christians and Hindus suffer extreme violence and persecution.

Even if arrested on the basis of accusations from only one witness, the unfortunate person risks violence and torture inflicted by the police. Under pressure from crowds incited by local mullahs, a number of judges have imposed the death sentence even in the absence of any evidence against the accused.

The report says the penal law, based on the Koran, punishes with floggings and stoning all behaviour incompatible with Islamic law, such as adultery, gambling or drinking alcohol. This law on blasphemy provides an example of one of the most sectarian and extremist forms of legislation, in addition to paving the way for a radical Islam- isation of the country.

The problem with Sharia law is that it can be interpreted, much like any other religious ruling. These interpreters are human and are therefore likely to err. It doesn't have a good track record either.

Adelaide Now:

TWO police officers were jailed today for gang raping a young woman in custody in Indonesia.
Mohammed Nazir, 29, and Feri Agus, 28, were found guilty of raping a 20-year-old student in a police station in January after she was arrested with her boyfriend under local laws designed to enforce Islamic morals.

Indonesia's Muslims are mostly moderate, but Aceh has special autonomy, and one of the ways it differentiates itself is through implementation of sharia law, enforced by special Islamic police.

Rights activists called for the Islamic force to be disbanded after the incident, saying it did nothing but harass women about their clothes and humiliate young unmarried couples.

They also said the sharia police were not empowered to detain anyone, and could only issue warnings.

Also from Adelaide Now:

A MUSLIM cleric has been arrested in Bangladesh following the death of a woman who was publicly caned for adultery, police have said.

Sufia Begum, thought to have been in her forties, was accused of having an affair with her 36-year-old stepson and was sentenced to 40 lashes last month by an Islamist court that included the imam of the local mosque, Afsar Ali.

The Bangladesh High Court outlawed punishments handed down by religious edict, or fatwa, in July, but Begum’s death, in the Rajshahi district of northwestern Bangladesh, suggests that such brutal punishments are still handed down in religiously conservative rural areas of the country.

In one of the most notorious cases, a 16-year-old girl who was raped was given 101 lashes in January for conceiving during the assault.

The girl’s father was also fined and was told that the family would be branded outcasts from their village if he did not pay. The 20-year-old rapist was pardoned.

Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina, who has vowed to eradicate Islamic militancy, has warned of “zero tolerance” for Sharia punishments.


See, to me this just sounds like vigilante 'justice' and kangaroo courts. Punishments like caning and stoning apparently outlawed but still ongoing? While I do wish for more severe punishments for our criminals (say, a repeat rapist should get his organs cut off - and enough time in jail to think about it) I don't think that bloodthirsty repercussions like public whippings and crowds that are encouraged to throw stones and KILL someone would be any good. That's just a dangerous slippery slope.

There have been so many cases of Amnesty International appealing for women about to be stoned to be saved and the saddest thing about these cases is that in many, they've already been punished or lashed and that whether or not they are actually guilty of anything is so ambiguous.
It seems like no matter what these women do, they're screwed. Just like a Salem witch hunt. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I don't want anything like this to come into our country. It should have been stamped out years ago, decades, centuries ago! The Crusades are soo yesterday guys, pay attention! Is is so hard to understand that driving into another society like a battering ram filled with anger and forceful religion is kind of a bad idea?
No one should be forced into religion. Except at Christmas. Okay, if you want presents and a holiday to celebrate, ho-ho-hop to it and convert. No one likes a sad little athiest crossing out 'Merry Christmas' and scrawling 'Happy Generic Holiday' underneath so they can join the party. Seriously, you don't believe in it? It's too commercial? Then stop it. Please. I would like my Christmas a little less insane.

Yes, that was a joke. Honestly though, it is a little silly to celebrate another religion's occasions when you spend all your time telling us how stupid we are. Hahaha.
Society makes you join in though, right? Right?


Adelaide Now:

Liberal Victorian senator Mitch Fifield yesterday also said immigrants needed to integrate with the community.

"Australians revel in diversity and embrace different cultures," he said, "but they expect people who come to Australia to sign up to mainstream values. You have to muck in with the rest of the community and not develop a sort of separate society.

"We need to heed the lessons of the UK where you have whole suburbs which are basically separate entities to the rest of the community.

"There are some interpretations of Islam which aren't healthy and aren't compatible with Australian values, such as sharia law."

That basically sums it up. I don't see the need for Sharia law in Australia. One law for all of us should be fine, and hopefully it'll be a law that won't let democracy die or let religion be forced on us. Sharia for the most part seems to be confusing and conflicting and it would only get ten times worse in the government's hands.

Fix the problems in your own backyard first before tackling your neighbour's garden.

Sunday, Lazy Sunday!

That's right. I have wasted my day off. Well, it was relaxing and I earned it but I would have much rather gone out and done something. Of course, schedule fail meant everyone else in the universe was out doing anything and everything else. (<-- proven fact. Really.)

I guess I'm kinda bummed about it. It's just so much radio silence. Am I the only survivor in this apocalyptic rave party? Well, if that was the case, I would hope so. I don't want no radioactive zombie gate-crashers. They are incredibly rude.

It's probably just me being over sensitive but I do find it annoying when people don't get back to you. Especially when it's on Facebook and you see that they've been on there playing games, and ignoring everyone. What's so hard about replying? If you don't know at the time, just say 'I'll get back to you' or 'Hells, I don't know' - what's so hard about that?

The way I was taught, when I was growing up is that you get back to someone ASAP. Maybe people don't have the same opinions as I do and in today's world I'm sure Facebook isn't exactly the cream of politey-ness. If you don't reply to me, or talk to me for ages, I will delete your dead space ass. Be sure of that.

Although it's funny, I deleted about ten people the other day, thinking none would notice or care and by the end of the day nearly half had tried to add me again. Why? So you can just sit back and watch me from the shadows? Had a dude who liked to think he was my boyfriend do that once, from every angle and social network. It's really not that good, and was kinda pathetic. (Kinda still means totally, right?)

The peace and quiet is, definately. I'm not looking to be the centre of attention, I don't care if nobody likes me status update. What I do care about is being heard when I'm trying to talk to you. You don't acknowledge it? You're rude, forgetful, or both. Either way, you've probably just lost a friend.

Sucks to be you.

Edit(ing )Mis-Chief

You know what bugged me most about the time that I was job searching? The massive incompetance owned by people with full time jobs. Why? I would despair. Why did you hire them, and not me?? I would actually look like I was enjoying the work, if not do it better!

Seriously, there is nothing worse than worrying about where the money's going to come from next and then at the shops or on the phone you get smacked in the face with someone who just couldn't care less about their job or customer service. Everything you've ever been told in your previous roles - don't chew gum, don't say 'whatevah' or 'is that it?', don't have outrageous hairdo's/tattoo's/piercings, wear the right uniform, don't text your boyfriend under... alright, or over the counter - they just didn't apply.

Then I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Someone also told me to stop playing on the train tracks of over used puns and cliches, but HEY obviously he didn't get anywhere by staying there and telling me that so here we go.

I COULD BE A WOMEN'S MAGAZINE EDITOR!!!

Now, don't scoff. We've come along way from the sexist stereotypes and stupid products and.. and.. bad advice... and it appears we've come full circle! That's a codeword for 'progress', kiddies.
I have mentioned that I will devour any reading material if it gets to close. Heck, I read *Twilight*. *TWILIGHT*. Why?! Well, I was kind of forced to do it, and I suppose deep down I just hoped it would get better. (Spoiler: it didn't. Holy crap, it was a train wreck I could have stopped by just shutting the book and walking away but I... just thought that maybe.. maybe the 'author' would realise the mistakes she was making and put them right..) ((Double spoiler: she didn't. She just negotiated movie contracts and filmed the train crashing.)) (((Wow, I'm still going with the train thing? I thought that ended a paragraph ago.)))

So at work in lunchtime, I might flick through one of these accursed women's magazine. Sometimes you can find interesting health facts or a good website, perhaps a movie review or a coupon of some description. Not really, that's false hope as those rags get patted down better than the cops.

The culprit: NW April 25th 2011
The crime: Making teh no sense.

Here's a hint. If you are going to devote an issue to facelifts and other surgical procedures, try and get your subject at the same angle both times. Yes, this involves pre-planning and potential time travel but it's worth it.
Don't just argue point blank that so and so's had another nose job when you give me one profile shot and one picture of the back of her head.

The next tip is something that could cancel out some of the body snark you encourage. You, madam, have given me three pictures of Gwyneth Paltrow. Above it, you have written 'The many faces of Gwyn' but below it I see a snap of her with dyed hair, some sort of candid shock photo and one smiling face at a premiere or something. What bothers me is that you are trying to tell me that she's had something done because of the differences. A blind person could have done a better job than you. Want to guess why? You're trying to compare a 'surprise face' photo with a relaxed smiling face one. Go on. Take some pictures of yourself looking the same way. Now, which one has more lines? Yeah, that's what I thought you frickin' idiot.

More on the body snark - why do you have to put a glamor photo next to a candid one and then tell us the star's hit the skids. Noo... she just doesn't live in make up and six inch heels and you're trying to make her feel bad for it. Same as those little candid snaps of a celebrity lost in thought that suddenly appear with huge words next to them screaming out 'depression!!'

All these insiders you find.. do they come from an agency? No, you don't fool anyone. Yes, there are lowlives that will dish dirt on people if they think they're going to pay them. People will hurl in famous people's closets if they think something good will come of it. Someone you meet on the street who doesn't even know who you're talking about can suddenly become an insider for financial gain. Or they could just be you, hiding your gossipy lies behind the cardboard cut out of the insider.

So yeah, this would be an ideal career if the celebrities stopped trying to sue you for the damages spread by your lies. It's hilarious though when you read the letters, your readers obviously take your crap for gospel.. which is actually kind of scary.

I don't understand why people read this trash on a regular basis. I don't care if someone's wearing a baggy shirt to cover a pregnancy or because they feel like a baggy shirt that day. It's pathetic and out of date in a week anyway. More people should read magazines that make sense, like MAD. Then maybe they would understand my sense of humour.

One can dream.

Screwed Review

Life for me at the moment is a quite.. can I say, comfortable mix of good and could-be-improved-a-lot. I'm not really one to complain. I can though, if you give me a chance. Certainly, I have my share of mental beef. Just sort of sifting through it at the moment, it's so much clearer to see after bits and dabs like, misplacing someone you thought cared about you.

All the time I tell myself, don't do (this) for (that person), they'll never do the same for you. But I can't stop myself, I want to be good, I want to keep those around me happy. So, yeah, it kinda makes me sad when you realise that someone who kept telling you that they were there to help, that they wanted the best for you, that they would do anything for you.... just wouldn't.

I still thought I would miss their company, I mean, I told them I would but to be honest, it's like they've fell off the face of the earth. This is my world, you just don't exist in it. Maybe someone thought you up once, but it was put in the bad ideas pile and never thought of again. I like it this way. I should have killed them off so much earlier.

Looking back on my life as a whole, I've always been kind of... out of it. Like I'm watching my story though someone else's life. I don't feel most of it. Now I'm wondering if that's actually just me, or if I'm actually going through depression, a bipolar phase or some sort of identity disorder.

I was told to look at some information about those, and at first glance these things seem to express the way I feel but I guess I'll need to look into it much deeper. Maybe face my fear of people and get help. I don't know. But I'm pretty good at coping, and I know I'll be fine.

When I'm with my Panda.. these things don't bother me.

Happy Bomber and the prisoner of Terrorban

I work some strange hours so sometimes news does escape me. Not that I'd want to be glued to the news channel or anything. So, last Friday was the Royal Wedding. That's cool... the random wedding parties and tiara bashes were a bit weird. I mean, if Wills and Kate aren't going to have a party when YOU get married, why do it for them? Yes, I know that's an unreasonable argument... Don't ya just love it?

Anyway I didn't watch it but I've heard from witnesses that it started at 4pm and eventually, when they realised it was still going strong at 10pm they dismantled their televisions. Or they could have just turned it off, I wasn't really paying attention. Of course everyone is milking it, but I didn't think it would be that massive. Probably got more screen time than disaster reports.

Everybody hates Ricky Nixon. I don't even know who he is, I refuse to follow any sport that only promotes men, encourages drunkeness, dominates my TV time and lets people who ordinarily shun fancy dress run around in stupid face paint. *breathes* Yeah, not a fan. I have heard of him though, imposible not to with the whole St. Kilda schoolgirl fiasco.

I just really have a hard time understanding what these people have problems with. Most of them are married, with kids, I'm assuming. They know there are cameras up their bums 24/7 on the offchance something they crap out might have something fascinating to tell the world. They probably have security following them around and aides, or whatever. So how do they all keep getting into these situations that makes the headlines scream rape, assault, drugs, underage, hotel room?

These are GROWN MEN. They should know better! What is this slap on the wrist bugger all nonsense about? Naughty, naughty boy! You're implicated in a crime! .......Stay off the field for a season or two. WTF?? If I pulled any of these shenanigans, it would, and SHOULD affect my work. Oh wait, I'm not in the sports industry! That's where I went wrong. My bad.

It bothers me because the fans of these people always favour the blokes. The victims/accusers are always made out to be skanks, groupies, vengeful cows of hate and prostitution only after the money. I don't know anything about it, for all I know they have got some false accusations - this is the kind of situation those things thrive in - but someone's side of the story shouldn't be tossed aside all the time because it couldn't possibly happen to your favourite sports star.

Anyway, what I was trying to get at was that this chump gave a confusing and strange interview about how he doesn't know how he got in that hotel without underwear, if there was drugs involved, he says certainly no sex involved, but there was phone communication and they have a lack of evidence apparently. You know, besides the video, photos, text messaging...
It just seems he's kinda digging himself a hole. Well, even more than before.

Osama bin Laden has forcibly kicked the bucket. I'm not really sure when this happened, I had a day or two of no internet, then I casually check my FaceBook and all anyone (and their mums) are posting is bin Laden jokes/comments. I'm like... OoooOOOOOoooookaaaaAAAAAaaaaayyyy......
Twitter is doing the same thing and I'm like 'Honey....I think something may have happened...' and the news confirms it. He's gone.

Articles and updates are breeding like rabbits. I found one or two interesting. One was a biography of the man himself, I hadn't known much about him, especially that he was from a rich and educated background before falling into the extremists camp. How come none of these came into much light before now? I suppose no one wanted to read it, it's easier to think of him as some villian in a cave, plotting, growing beards and making explosives because he can't comprehend how awesome we all are.

It must be great for the September 11 families to get some kind of closure, but like many are saying now to watch out for retaliation attacks and he's only been made into a martyr. The important thing to remember is that it's not just Muslims over there in whateveristan, anyone can be dangerous when they get that involved in their beliefs. I've read some horrible things that Christians write and I really don't get how anyone could believe, even think that their God would be that much happier with them if they killed some Westerners, homosexuals,  blacks, other religions. It's pathetic.

Speaking of pathetic, everyone's going on about the Logies. Whooo... the logies... Everyone else gets rate rises, tax increases, everything but the wage increase, and here's a bunch of 'celebrities' hamming it up in a new expensive outfit, eating like royalty, and getting statues that no one will even remember they got in a year's time.

All I can hear is Chrissie Swan! Karl Stefanovic! American musical acts, not an Australian one to be seen! Some comment about butts! Boring MC!

Yay? Who gives a rats!!